When I first went to Hyles-Anderson college I was only eighteen, and I can honestly say that I didn not have true character, though I had been part of one of the most well known and respected Christian colleges in the country. I can say this because I was not in the word, I was just believing the doctrine everyone told me (the Baptist doctrine), and I did not know God.
What we have to realize is…
1. There is safety behind the walls. The walls keep you from falling. There is security there. There is protection there….like a baby growing in the womb, don’t need to come out until its time. I consider you in the oven…all of you. Your character is being developed. And sure, when your with a group of people who are all doing the same thing it’s easy to “look” like your walking the walk because your all doing it together. Hey, I looked good while I was in
Hyles-Anderson college. I was with one of the most well known “soul winning” colleges in the country, started by the most well respected and honored preachers in the Baptist community….”Dr. Jack Hyles.” It was easy to stay in line there. But when people are making you obey and have character is it real
obediance or real character?
2. When you take away the walls what happens?
I can tell you what happened to me. I wasn’t reading the word to begin with nor was I talking to God….I did not develope that habbit because I was fearful of the Word and God so….really I was the same person when I got out. There was a lot of pride in that place and I thought i was invincible, but I was soon hanging out with the wrong kind of people, drinking which led to sexual sin and
I became pregnant soon twice. My character developed only after I had been out of the bondage of that college and got into the Word, even if it hurt. It was hard to face my fear of the Word, but I had to. And once I realized the Truth I applied it to my life. Anyone can be made to do things but its not *my* character until I’ve earned it, until I’ve come from behind the structure and tested it out.
Now I talk to people about God because I want to, not because I’m forced to. Now I don’t get drunk because that’s what I’ve decided to do. Now I don’t have sex because I want to please God and I know it wouldn’t please Him if I gave myself over to adultery.
So there you have it. No matter what they say about me….it’s only out of jealousy and pride. I don’t, by the way, think I’m a person beyond reproach because even David said, “Lord, you know my weaknesses and my sins are not hid from you, my iniquities are revealed before your eyes.”
So those who say “She’s corrupt, stay away from her….they are corrupt themselves.”
Also, I don’t live in depression because that’s what I’ve decided to do. I don’t need a man….I just need *the man*. And if a man wants me….he will make himself part of my life. I may have my down days, but I was just reading out of Job today, this morning and read that his skin was actually peeling from his body. At least I have my health! I thank God I don’t have it as bad as Job.
OK I was in the mullitgrubs yesterday….and yesterday someone walked away from me….but today is a new day. It’s like that movie: “Gone with the wind.” He said, “Frankly Scarlet, I really don’t….care.”….but Scarlett said, “Well, tomorrow is another day.” My roomate was probably just jealous. Best not introduce her….she might want him for herself.