I walk into the coffee shop and no one says hello. No one is happy to see me.
One of the men who I developed feelings for left about six months ago. I guess the leadership just wants to give me every reason to leave. Or maybe he did? OK I will, but not without some kind of a lawsuit to the big wigs. I’ve seen them do my friend like this too….because she had a little more going on in her head than the other women. They have destroyed every relationship I had there. Did their best to make me feel unwelcome, feel “old” as one of the managers called me. Shunning is serious business there better be proof theres legitimate causes for it. Isn’t it enough that I lost my children, my home, my car, been drugged for I don’t know how long? And your hideous women! Gripe every time I enter the room for ladies meeting. Yell at you if you bring up something controversial. Gripe when you sit next to them at dinner. Gripe when you show up for prayer meeting. And at fellowship they all head for the bedroom and leave me out, don’t even say anything. This is every reason why I left the church 20 years ago and every reason I’ll never go to another one again! Tell me I can’t talk to the men, tell me I don’t belong, tell me I cant be used in their church, tell me God wants to use me for nothing.
Sorry if I was offended at the Mexicans last night, but they just come in there to gawk at me then go talk to someone else. Can’t even say hi Miss Rhonda. Cant even respond when I say anything. Forget it. No more apologies no more nada. I’m sick of trying to make things right to a hard hearted unforgiving man. Sorry for what I said before. I’ve been caused enough pain. And Ya’ll have caused me enough pain. It just isn’t working. It never will unless you get away from that pathetic controlling hateful place. Not a church! For me like a graveyard in wintertime. The young women walk by and sneer at me. It’s like its some kind of competition. You’ll be old someday too. The few friends I had have left. I guess I should go away too and never talk to anyone there again unless they leave. Yes! leave! It may be good for you but there hateful to me. Any man that cares anything about me wouldn’t stay in a place like that and have them tell him he has to hate me to be part of their pathetic cult. Lawsuit material. Pathetic ! Absurd! Hideous!
Besides the so called church out there my children left, my husband who I shared my faith with left, gave his soul to Satan for his mother, I don’t know if I want to live to see my grandchildren. At this point in my life I’m bearly surviving, not even a shred of desire to live anymore. I Will press charges. Going to look up paperwork just as soon as I fill out a few articles. Charges will be pressed against the woman also who publicly humiliated me in the coffee shop, calling me a witch and a jezabell and acusing me of sorcery telling me I’m perverted in public. Plus a restraining order against her if she ever speaks to me again. Public humiliation. And this is the way most of the women act. Hateful. Fake like they want to pray with me. Miserable comforters ya’ll are! I literaly want to die.
God you know I have nothing. Not even one human. My own mother hates me. My father hated me my sister my best friend turned against me. Thank you that you did not leave me too.