Prov. 25:15….by long forbearing

By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone.

Want something your way? ……long forbearance. That’s how you get a prince or a king or a man to hear you. They’ll walk away if you start yelling. A soft tongue breaks the bone… when you want to go out for dinner just sit beside him on the sofa and kiss kiss kiss and smooch smooch smooch every day and then ask sweetly “Can we go out for supper Friday night? I’m so tired. Look I cleaned the whole house today. Mama needs a little rest and get some one else to cook. After five days of that he’ll do anything. And then throw in….my goodness your biceps sure look bigger. Have you been working out?

Prov. 25:8 Go not hastily to strive

“Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbor hath put thee to shame.”

I read another version and it used “court” instead of “strive”. I guess in court you strive too, but I think its mainly talking about fighting here.

Here recently, in the past 20 years everyone is taking everyone to court over the most bogus reasons. I’ll be glad when this part of history passes.

I don’t think it’s good to quickly fight with people . I have people….a lot of people starting fights and arguments and I don’t like it, and it’s over stupidity like looking at them or looking at them the wrong way. I’m learning to say, “not today devil”. Last time I said that the woman who was starting something with me left and walked away.

Proverbs 24:21 “meddle not with those …..given to change”

My son, fear thou the Lord and the king: and meddle not with them that are given to change:

For their calamity shall rise suddenly; and who knoweth the ruin of them both?

This reminds me of one of my X husbands. If I could advise young women on choosing a husband I would say look for one who has kept a job for at least a year, or has worked in a ministry for maybe a couple of years . Consistency
is important in a man.

I married someone who was always changing….never happy with his job, where we lived, never happy with any situation, unstable. I remember when I wanted to work the bus route before we were married. He was angry that while on the route I was not giving him 100% of my attention and he quit and wanted me to quit. Once we were married he went from job to job. My friend told me once, “You better hope he doesn’t quit on you someday.” Well, he did, sadly.

I have no idea why he was so unhappy with every situation in life. All I know that I tried to make him happy, tried every day, worked like a dog, but he was never happy.

A man that changes jobs frequently you bet will be going from woman to woman or cheating on you behind your back. They aren’t satisfied with what they have, always wandering and searching for something or someone “better” than what they have.

Proverbs 24:10,11

If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small. If thou forbear to deliver them that are drawn unto death, and those that are ready to be slain; If thou sayest, Behold, we knew it not; doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it? And he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he now it? And shall not he render to every man according to his works?

This makes me think of going to Israel as #1 importance right now. The homeless ….most of them are there because they want to be really. They usually all go for a while then get housing then do fine for a while, then go back to jail, then get out again….and for some this cycle keeps going around and around and around. The problem with those down town, I’m finding, is that they simply don’t care. Some work, some don’t want to and would rather you give them everything. Some *want* to believe everything MHMR tells them, they want to believe there is something wrong with them and even get angry if you disagree because they want the money and all the free services that go along with it. So I don’t feel so sorry for them because after being down here
I see that some just don’t care.

But the Jews in the synagogue do care….they are just stubborn. Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try….it just might take a long time….so reguardless of what’s happening around the world….we still have a while before the Jews are restored (or all Israel). But someone has to go. I know I’m not the only someone.

I think taking myself away from down town and having my own place again would prove advantageous for me, and of course, bringing Lisa with me if she still wants to go. She would bring me company….she cuts pretty good….so I guess she can help me with the rugs.

OK this applies to witnessing too. If we don’t at least try and witness to people we are failing in our Christian walk. Enough said. We should try and reach someone for the Lord every day.

God Bless you fro reading.

And everyone left, but you God.

I walk into the coffee shop and no one says hello. No one is happy to see me.
One of the men who I developed feelings for left about six months ago. I guess the leadership just wants to give me every reason to leave. Or maybe he did? OK I will, but not without some kind of a lawsuit to the big wigs. I’ve seen them do my friend like this too….because she had a little more going on in her head than the other women. They have destroyed every relationship I had there. Did their best to make me feel unwelcome, feel “old” as one of the managers called me. Shunning is serious business there better be proof theres legitimate causes for it. Isn’t it enough that I lost my children, my home, my car, been drugged for I don’t know how long? And your hideous women! Gripe every time I enter the room for ladies meeting. Yell at you if you bring up something controversial. Gripe when you sit next to them at dinner. Gripe when you show up for prayer meeting. And at fellowship they all head for the bedroom and leave me out, don’t even say anything. This is every reason why I left the church 20 years ago and every reason I’ll never go to another one again! Tell me I can’t talk to the men, tell me I don’t belong, tell me I cant be used in their church, tell me God wants to use me for nothing.

Sorry if I was offended at the Mexicans last night, but they just come in there to gawk at me then go talk to someone else. Can’t even say hi Miss Rhonda. Cant even respond when I say anything. Forget it. No more apologies no more nada. I’m sick of trying to make things right to a hard hearted unforgiving man. Sorry for what I said before. I’ve been caused enough pain. And Ya’ll have caused me enough pain. It just isn’t working. It never will unless you get away from that pathetic controlling hateful place. Not a church! For me like a graveyard in wintertime. The young women walk by and sneer at me. It’s like its some kind of competition. You’ll be old someday too. The few friends I had have left. I guess I should go away too and never talk to anyone there again unless they leave. Yes! leave! It may be good for you but there hateful to me. Any man that cares anything about me wouldn’t stay in a place like that and have them tell him he has to hate me to be part of their pathetic cult. Lawsuit material. Pathetic ! Absurd! Hideous!

Besides the so called church out there my children left, my husband who I shared my faith with left, gave his soul to Satan for his mother, I don’t know if I want to live to see my grandchildren. At this point in my life I’m bearly surviving, not even a shred of desire to live anymore. I Will press charges. Going to look up paperwork just as soon as I fill out a few articles. Charges will be pressed against the woman also who publicly humiliated me in the coffee shop, calling me a witch and a jezabell and acusing me of sorcery telling me I’m perverted in public. Plus a restraining order against her if she ever speaks to me again. Public humiliation. And this is the way most of the women act. Hateful. Fake like they want to pray with me. Miserable comforters ya’ll are! I literaly want to die.

God you know I have nothing. Not even one human. My own mother hates me. My father hated me my sister my best friend turned against me. Thank you that you did not leave me too.

What is Character and how is it developed?

When I first went to Hyles-Anderson college I was only eighteen, and I can honestly say that I didn not have true character, though I had been part of one of the most well known and respected Christian colleges in the country. I can say this because I was not in the word, I was just believing the doctrine everyone told me (the Baptist doctrine), and I did not know God.

What we have to realize is…

1. There is safety behind the walls. The walls keep you from falling. There is security there. There is protection there….like a baby growing in the womb, don’t need to come out until its time. I consider you in the oven…all of you. Your character is being developed. And sure, when your with a group of people who are all doing the same thing it’s easy to “look” like your walking the walk because your all doing it together. Hey, I looked good while I was in
Hyles-Anderson college. I was with one of the most well known “soul winning” colleges in the country, started by the most well respected and honored preachers in the Baptist community….”Dr. Jack Hyles.” It was easy to stay in line there. But when people are making you obey and have character is it real
obediance or real character?

2. When you take away the walls what happens?

I can tell you what happened to me. I wasn’t reading the word to begin with nor was I talking to God….I did not develope that habbit because I was fearful of the Word and God so….really I was the same person when I got out. There was a lot of pride in that place and I thought i was invincible, but I was soon hanging out with the wrong kind of people, drinking which led to sexual sin and
I became pregnant soon twice. My character developed only after I had been out of the bondage of that college and got into the Word, even if it hurt. It was hard to face my fear of the Word, but I had to. And once I realized the Truth I applied it to my life. Anyone can be made to do things but its not *my* character until I’ve earned it, until I’ve come from behind the structure and tested it out.

Now I talk to people about God because I want to, not because I’m forced to. Now I don’t get drunk because that’s what I’ve decided to do. Now I don’t have sex because I want to please God and I know it wouldn’t please Him if I gave myself over to adultery.

So there you have it. No matter what they say about me….it’s only out of jealousy and pride. I don’t, by the way, think I’m a person beyond reproach because even David said, “Lord, you know my weaknesses and my sins are not hid from you, my iniquities are revealed before your eyes.”

So those who say “She’s corrupt, stay away from her….they are corrupt themselves.”

Also, I don’t live in depression because that’s what I’ve decided to do. I don’t need a man….I just need *the man*. And if a man wants me….he will make himself part of my life. I may have my down days, but I was just reading out of Job today, this morning and read that his skin was actually peeling from his body. At least I have my health! I thank God I don’t have it as bad as Job.

OK I was in the mullitgrubs yesterday….and yesterday someone walked away from me….but today is a new day. It’s like that movie: “Gone with the wind.” He said, “Frankly Scarlet, I really don’t….care.”….but Scarlett said, “Well, tomorrow is another day.” My roomate was probably just jealous. Best not introduce her….she might want him for herself.